So the weirdest thing happened......I finally watched the movie
Magnolia.
E2, please watch this if you haven't. The whirlwind of emotions that have plagued me from
P. T. Anderson's vision spun my perspective on life into a beautiful rest stop. Mixed with my current job situation of none, there is a calmness my nerves and mind have never felt. This placid mentality never found me, in 25 years of a life on this planet.
So I found a job today. Starting next week, I am an organic farmer. That's right; squash, zuchini, and melons will be my co-workers....for some reason, it's perfect. I didn't grow up to find myself in a cube or lab for my life. The way things work, I'm sure I'll find myself there again. But I need this, more than anything I've come upon in a while. I've lived, I shit you not, I've partied like a baffoon. My blood could intoxicate all of E2, these aren't lies. They are tales of dark corners people don't get to see. They exist in movies as glamorous highlights on society, but the pretentious truth stares morality and decent living down and frightens the reason into a state of disarray. But the fake side, as shitty as it may be, has driven me...there has to be something better, a situation is always worse than mine. Looking back to the last five years, I'm suprised I can still think, type, or say that. But it's true.....
My roomate just got back from Ireland, and he brought a great bottle of Jameson, not normal.....aged 12 years. I've been drinking, and I'm sure it shows in my writing. Regardless, I'm going to roll a square and reflect. Good night everything, where ever you are...