I have discovered an even better weapon.
In
Police Academy after a major tussle with a former boxer on the fighting mat, I drew the biggest guy in the class, Cadet Herman. He was about 3lbs. shy of being a
dump truck.
Herman was an ex-military powerhouse, the kinda guy you want on your side in a bar brawl.
We started our fight, with Herman through brute force countering my best kicks and punches. This is the first fight I'd ever been in, where if I took it to the ground, I was going to lose for sure. My strategy has always been, take it to the ground, Herman knew that he had the advantage on the ground, so he was trying to help me get there.
I had a couple of really good kicks to his chest and head, but I might as well have been bantering with a brick wall. Finally he came at me, in a rush I was unable to get out of the way of his massive armspan, and he took me to the ground.
This is the part where it hurt.
I could use but one of my arms, so I grabbed a pressure point on the back his neck and I squeezed for all I was worth. Nothing. I took my middle finger to his nose and pushed back as hard as I could. Nothing. With all of my energy used I thought of one last thing to do.
I licked my lips and kissed him on his lips.
He jumped back and screamed, "What the fuck?"
Seeing my window I jumped up, and made a roundhouse into his head, and the fight was mine.
I took a lot of shit for that. Still do whenever I run into any of my Academy buds, but that does not bother me, I took him down, and I won the fight.
I wish this could have been said without it being a getting to know you node, but I always feel like I need to explain this story, you understand.