This is a crippling fear, because it isn't warranted.
It is the inner flinching of events that have not yet occured.
The twitch inside the abdominal wall.
It never has to do with reality, or fixed goals, or end results.
It is one of the sensations, I think that is the reasoning behind why humans ride rollercoasters.
It is not yet love, but it is almost more annoying than love.
I never can allow myself to enjoy anything.
This sucks.