Strange factoid. I have spent a good part of the past twenty years of my life trying to prove to myself that I can create a three queen pattern just by willing it into existence. Some of the stupidier things I've done in the past decade have involved some form of attempting to recreate the pattern. The reason for this is not because I want it to come into existence again. I am trying to prove to myself that it was the product of wishful thinking. The attempts always fail.
Picture, if you will, the idea of the end of this life you are living. You've died. The story ends. But does it?
Imagine now that at the end of your life you enter this sort of terminal, like a train station or airport. There are trains and flights out to different locations. What flight are you on?
Now, imagine that this terminal provides access points to key moments in your life's narrative. Each of these access points corresponds to a life-changing decision you made during the course of your life.
"What is this?" you might ask.
Consider the possibility of fulfilling your life's narrative, but with a different decision made at that point. You take a different turn and now you play out the hand. You will not remember the previous life narrative. It will fade from memory, but with shadows that provoke moments of deja vu or strange familiarity. You've seen this territory before, you are just not sure where.
There are unlimited numbers of decisions we make in this life that impact the future course of your life. You could spend eternity fleshing them all out.
And maybe that is exactly what is happening.