Comford Food Central: Matza with
chocolate spread.
A wonderfully crunchy, sweet and decadent snack which Israeli children tend to be indoctrinated into at an early age through the impossibility of making any other kind of matza sandwich (some mothers do try things like butter or jam, but that's just sick). Once you've spent a week eating those crumbly little punishments, you're hooked - no matter how much you hate the stuff in general, or how secular you become in later life, matza-im-shokolad is a Passover staple you'll never outgrow.
And it can't be just any old chocolate spread, either. If you're thinking creamy Nutella, think again! The stuff religiously adhered to by even the most progressive Israeli gourmet is Shokolad Hashachar: gloopy brown tank grease whose packaging and brand image are so antiquated as almost to predate the state of Israel itself.
The combination of these two, normally unappealing, substances is the ganstronomic equivalent of perfect synergy - the whole is just so much greater than its parts...
There are several schools of thought as to how matza-im-shokolad should be preapred and eaten. Some, in an attempt to cheat the calorie count (matza, despite its puritanically sparse appearance, is actually more fattening than bread, and you need more of it to feel full), take a whole square and smear it in the chocolate, eating it as an open sandwich. This is messy, however, and occasionally ends up as a chocolate flavoured frizbee landing gloop down on the carpet.
Some, with the same slimming view, break the matza square into two and use one to spread the chocolate on, and the other to cover. It is however a scientifically proven fact that, despite its helpful grooves, it's physically impossible to break a single matza into two symmetrical and even parts. Plus you send crumbs flying all over the kitchen.
For myself, and with the acknowledgement that denial is not just a river in north Africa, I say: boo to slimming! and have my matza sandwiches made from one full square to slather, one full square to cover. Yum.
Some antisemitic monster has tried to supplant our seasonal indulgence with pre-chocolated matza, but that is a travesty and should be banned on pain of pain.