This is an
urban legend I heard a while back, so don't take every word of this as
literal fact =P.
In 1996, there was farmer in northern
Iowa by the name of Jake Evans. He wasn't by any means the
brightest farmer in the world, or the
hardest working, and he enjoyed having fun every
now and then.
One fateful
July morning, Jake learned something that would cause him a
premature death. He was reading a newspaper, when he came across an
article about how much cows polute the atmosphere with their
methane farts. An idea dawned on Jake.
Methane is
highly flamable. He wondered what would happen if he stuck a lighter under a cow's ass.....
So, when he went to milk the cows that evening he took his
trusty lighter with him. He milked the biggest cow he had first and waited for the cow to fart. When the cow showed its first sign of
flatulence, Jake made his move. He lifted up the cows tail and thumbed his lighter into action. Jake was
ecstatic to see a
blue line of flame appear where the cow was
farting. The flame grew bigger and bigger, until it went went straight into the cow's anus. For a few seconds, Jake stood
dumbfounded. Then, without warning, the cow
exploded.
Poor Jake never stood a chance. He was hit with the cow's flying
femur bone and was knocked dead
instantly. As for the cow, it's remains are said to have flown up to 100
yards from the site where it exploded.
It is
hypothesized that the cow exploded for the following reason: The flame was met with an incredibly large amount of
methane inside the bowels of the cow; so much, in fact, that the cow's bowels couldn't contain the
chemical reaction so the cow
combusted. In other words: the cow must have had a
shitload of beans for breakfast. The moral of the story: never stick flames of any kind under a cow's
posterior.
.......Big thanks to the
Darwin Awards for supplying this information!