So I
shaved my head. I went from 18" to 0" in half an hour. As I consider it my
personal duty to maintain my general
strangeness level so as to keep the
masses from being too bored with their
daily lives, I made the bold decision to remove all
hair from my
cranium (excluding
eyebrows anyway).
A simple question comes to mind: why does this change my assumed
political affiliation? While the occasional "
hippie!" was heard when travelling through the
rural or
southern areas of the country, I didn't get too much
slack for having 1 1/2'
black hair. But all of a sudden I get strange looks from
minorities and white folks alike now that I decided to run a
razor over my head. I mean it's not like I feel like I'm being
victimized here--I just don't like having people assume I
hate them from the start. I feel pretty
awful knowing that some people feel
afraid of me, rather than having the urge to
beat the living crap out of my
skinny,
pale ass. I am a generally very
friendly,
reserved guy with reasonably little
hatred toward anyone, especially on the basis of
skin color or
appearance, and yet all of a sudden I am assumed to have a big poster of
Der Fuhrer on my wall.
The entire situation has come as something of a
surprise to me. While I never had any doubts about the
xenophobic tendencies of most people, I wouldn't have thought that there was such a
McCarthyist movement to root out the hordes of
racists and
bigots in our society.
Of course this also means I can't be horribly
politically incorrect for
cheap laughs anymore. That's a shame too. Guess I'll have to find my old
Dead Kennedys T and start wearing it again, just to affirm that I was at least once a
rabid lefty.
In reference to the instructional section below, be sure, if you have incredibly long hair, to *trim it first*. I realized, before shaving, that this would probably be intelligent, but my decision making process tends to favor convenience over wisdom. Getting your hair nice and short first will save you a lot of cuts and scrapes.