OH HAI IM IN UR DAYLOGS PIMPIN UR NOADZ
Now guys. I'm not trying to make you feel bad or nothin' here. But some of you have honestly not been trying very hard.
Sarah? Revelation? Weeping willow? PLANET MOTHERFUCKER???
Of course these writeups are awesome. You know how I know? Because they are all on the list of Everything's Best Writeups (which would more accurately be titled "Everything's Most C!ed Writeups") (and which, for reasons I still fail to understand, is hidden to all but staff). This quest is about LOST writeups, not already overexposed writeups.
I tried to limit my choices to things that had under 5 C!s, but they are all things from back in the day that made a huge impression on me. Some of em are at 18C!s or something by now. Sue me.
We start with
Now is the time when I start: Drink by
akatchoom, which is a very fun name to say. Perhaps it's meant to mimic a sneeze. This is her first writeup, and even though she only has four total, that doesn't really matter, because this one has a whole goddamn universe in it. Was YOUR first node anything like that? Mine wasn't.
I was Christian for a day by
claypenny is great if you like things that rip your heart out and throw it on the floor and stomp on it, which I do. The sister mentioned in there grew up to be
witchiepoo, who wrote
I pray to God I can find the other sock, which is the first thing I ever read here that turned on my waterworks. If that is not obscure enough for you there is also
Making it in a world without enough candy. Between those three they tackle a lot of the Big Themes.
Mitzi removed all her writeups for a while. She reposted the best of them when she came back in 2005, so now they only have a fraction of the C!s they used to. My favorites of that batch are
Boo, age two and a half,
Graveyards make me wet, and for when I feel very very dirty,
and somewhere the stinging smell of burning leaves.
For unmatched ironic cleverness, check out
The tragically broken hip,
full release diet soda and the outstanding
Soda in a Martini Glass by
Mr. Hotel.
For dark and brilliant searches for meaning in a corroded corporate wasteland, check out
Three McDonald's: The Viability of a Third-Party Candidate and
Temporary: Monday by
Igloowhite. Look what I did: both of those are Part One of several! You will be reading about cubes and french fries ALL DAY.
ideath doesn't write here anymore because she considers herself too much of a generalist. Though she's too humble to let you know up front, she is also a poet. Please read
Dear Willa (from Portland),
game of essences and
November 17, 2002. I did not want to have to include daylogs but that one is special to me.
The way
Halspal writes about golf, I can almost believe I'd enjoy it. Here are two:
Heads or tails? and
Play it where it Lies. With him, as with most of these folks, it's all gold. Just pull up the last fifty and go straight down when you're done with my recommendations.
ToasterLeavings is a true genius of language.
I am serving up and weildering triple secret fat ass flaming wisdoms, shit aint availing you, lamers of Edom! (which is the third installment in the "you noders suck" trilogy) and his ode to Shakespeare,
I dedicate all my love to your hot inner beauty, fill me with the EPIC LULZ.
And lastly we arrive at the esteemed, the peerless, the bittersweet, the simply magical
junkpile. If I had my way, the Sarah dream would be Garfunkel and
Every shiny fish is floating, floating, and every dark fish is at the bottom, at the bottom of the sea would be Paul Simon. That one blows me the fuck away.
Joy here we are again. Hello Albert is also very important to me. And I should mention that when I was in
Ohio,
tandex-Jared and I agreed that if there was a fire, and we could only save one node (this is a metaphorical fire), the node we would pick would be
Climb up on the Moon? Of course we did. Because it is the perfect encapsulation of all we've accomplished.
As a bonus and a thank you to tandex (and also for having the balls to tell me I should cut my damn hippie hair), I will point you to his My regret sits on the floor like someone else's polaroid photos. And hey look, you get a stand/alone/bitch writeup along with it! Score.
You see how talented these folks are? How they can take all the bad pieces of their lives and the good pieces of their soul, and fit them together into a beautiful mess with just the right details, and make you glad to know they're out there in the world? You see how they have unique voices and styles?
Try harder.
Tonight I will pour out a 40 oz. on the curb for the ghosts of: thefez perdedor yossarian mat catastrophe disgruntledwren