(thing) by Wuukiee Mon Nov 05 2001 at 7:22:34
samhain ritual, 2001, West Lafayette, In


ritual format


personal perspective

I'm really nervous. I'm calling elemental fire, which is my natural affinity, so the process is not highly difficult. I'm in fire garb, a red, grey, black sweater and black pants. Different times of year i have different fire properties... this one, it's more of the smoke and ember than the bright blazing balefires of six months ago. My face is painted in these colors, plus a few yellows and oranges, and i wear a crown of fall flowers. I'm ready, i took a cleansing shower and prepared my tools. But i'm still nervous, because of the fact that this is the second ritual i've ever called in, and the first "powerful" one, though, makes me jittery. Samhain was my first group ritual ever last year, and this year i'm a part of it.

I'm also terriby nervous because of the people. Mcc is there to watch me... so is my best friend from high school, who was the reason i first "got into wicca" (in a terribly unhealthy way that we both now regret) and now i'm in the odd place of being the more spiritual with her coming to me for guidance. She's normally at Yale, but got so tired of the mental deadness there that she let me kidnap her for the weekend. And the priestess is a very dear friend of mine and the woman who handfasted mcc and me, and i'm terrified of letitng her down.

It's a beautiful night, though... nearly full moon lending a beautiful silver shene to the ground, and crisp fall leaves underneath our feet. I'm the last in line processing, to make sure everyone makes it up safe. I try not to trip over roots, my way lit by the lights ahead of me, and my small lantern holding a glowstick--it's a candle lantern, but fire was prohibited in the park.

Everyone's in place, the beauty of the grove amazing, and the ritual starts. I go through everything as planned, trying both to remember my part, and drink it in at the same time. And suddenly it's my turn.

Hail to the South
Elemental Fire
I welcome you to our circle this Samhain night
I summon and stir you to aid in our ritual
Weave your essence throughout this gathering
Protect this circle with searing tongues of fire
Ever vigilant, burning to ash all that would try to harm us tonight
Warm us with the courage to speak freely, knowing we are safe and loved.
We are weaving a circle of defending flames!
Welcome Elemental Fire!



And fire's there. Fire's really there, energywise, on its elemental tree right where it's supposed to be. It worked. It actually bloody worked. I acutally pulled that off.... WOW!

The circle is called, and things progress. I stand mostly basking. And then the stories.

People lay to rest all sorts of things, and people. I do what i can, as fire, to lend them courage to speak if they so desire. And most do. And then i choose to as well.

I let two dead pass... one human, and one year.

This is finally my chance to say goodbye to Hermetic. I never knew him as well as some here, but i believe through his words i did know him. He greeted me cheerily in #e always, and we had some amazing chats. And the words he left here showed me who he was inside. I was not close friends with him, but as a part of this community, this family, i knew him and in my own way i loved him. I never really came to terms with his death, properly. As i started to parse what happened, i found my mourning cut short by a tragedy of far greater scale the next day. I spent so long wrapped up in that that i never really got around to finishing grieving for him and beginning to heal. I did last night... and all who were there last night hear me wish him, as so many others here have said, godspeed.

I also laid to rest the past year. It's been full of more pain, more grief, and more learning, than any year ever has. Some of its stories you know. Some haven't beeen told yet. Some never will be. I nearly had a nervous breakdown, quite literally. I developed chronic, chronic insomnia which led to me failing all my classes and leaving me in a dangerous situation academically now. Most of my friends, or so i thought, betrayed me during this time--but at least i found out who was really true. It was full of more pain and hurt... the one i cared about most in th world, and who cared most about me was hours and hours away. He stood with me in circle last year, my beloved mcc did, but the next day he got on a plane back to texas. This is how things were... we were sure of A future together... just not sure how. But last night he stood across the circle from me, and is still here today, and will be here for as many tomorrows as we can imagine. I needed to learn the lessons i did the past year, and i believe i have. I keep the lessons now, but last night i released the pain.

The circle continued, mostly just a rush of power and emotion, both my own and others... and finally it was done, almost. And air was left, and it was again my turn.

Hail to the South
Elemental Fire
I thank you for your presence and protection tonight
Take our love and thanks with you wherever firelight shines
Come as you will, stay as you wish
You are always welcome among us
As always, for the good of all with harm towards none,
So mote it be
Farewell Elemental Fire!



And we descended again down to the cars and the lights and the warm.

What happened after that, at a party not related to the ritual but involving the people from it spending time together after it is another story ENTIRELY and will be noded probably tomorrow. It's a fun story, but has no part in samhain itself. When it's done, it'll be linked here.

This morning, when i awoke (for the second time), i had a thought though, a gut feeling. I... i believe that next samhain it very well may be me standing in the center of that grove, standing priestess... i don't know why i think this. I know i will follow a priestess path at some point in my life--and i know i can have at least a first degree ordination by next year--but i didn't expect this so soon. It may come to pass, it may not. It may just be a call to start the priestess-path sooner. Only time will tell.

I like it! 1 C!