Driving down Greensprings Highway today.

See a billboard, major brand of bottled water. Girl's not drinking the water from the bottle, it's a cumshot with the water bottle where the dick would be, water splashing all over her face. She smiles like she likes being degraded this way.

Continue on, thinking that maybe the Baptists are right, we are creating hell instead of going there. Porn is for the bedroom, not for the roadside.

I shake the whole eeriness thing. Go on, pass two cars, see another billboard and metaphorically stop cold. I CAN VOTE - Mentally Ill And Mentally Handicapped Have Rights Too - a message from the alabama department of mental health and handicap. Black on white, text only. And that's cool, I guess I just wasn't expecting it.

Composure eventually regained but left leg shaking and I'm full of The Fear. I make it into the Purple Onion, and the guy in front of me in line is wearing a button. Black on white, text only.

THIEVES AND RAPISTS UNITE.

- Robert Goddam