I can relate with your sentiments. I like Stoicism. I think logic and reason are the only firm basis for understanding the world. I like Daoism. It's one of the few belief systems that manages to empower the individual and not the institution.

But I don't think that either one of these will give you meaning or purpose in life. When you find emptiness, what then? You are free, what will you do with your freedom?

To quote Nietzsche's "Thus Spake Zarathustra":


And lost be the day to us in which a measure hath not been danced.
And false be every truth which hath not had laughter along with it!

It's up to you how you live your life. The things that give you pleasure are yours to enjoy, and the things that give you pain are yours to bear, or to reject. The whole world is telling you not to trust yourself, because they want to control you. Trust yourself. Be happy and thankful for the gift of existence. Be open to the unknown. Start having fun again.