United States of America (place)

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (Abbrev. USA! USA!), the world’s third largest country by land area and population, and the oldest, largest and most expensive republic in the western hemisphere.

Predominantly located in North America, the nation borders Canada to the north (and, from Alaska, to the east), and Mexico to the south; it also has a very narrow maritime border to its west with Russia. Historically, it occupies the latter half of the Modern Era; the five hundred-year period beginning with the end of the Renaissance and terminating abruptly at the start of the forthcoming dark age. Its geographical center is in Topeka, Kansas between June and July of 1954.

The country comprises an unwieldily large number of states and territories; however, these may be grouped for convenience into nine principal socioeconomic regions:

1. New England, an important center of education and learning, including four of the eight Ivy League colleges, and a crucial source of the nation’s treasonable ideas.
2. The greater Northeast, stretching from the Great Lakes to the mid-Atlantic. This highly industrialized region manufactures the essentials of modern-day living, including food, water, automobiles, money and information. It also produces most of the nation’s plastics, the basic building-blocks of all life.
3. The Midwest, producing most of the nation’s corn.
4. The South, where the nation’s civil wars are fought, and where its presidents are elected.
5. The Southwest, where the nation’s Mormons and casinos are kept; where its weapons of mass destruction are tested. The abundance of sparsely-populated expanses of desert in this region makes it a desirable entry point for illegal aliens.
6. The Northwest.
7. California, the country’s most productive agricultural region, and a major producer of electronics and software.
8. California, the country’s most urbanized desert region, and a major producer of film and entertainment.
9. Numerous exclaves, including Alaska, Hawaii, insular possessions, military bases, extraterritorial prisons, the South Pole and much of the further remains of this planet.

Articles of Confederation (1781–1788).— The country’s founders detested monarchial government and feared tyranny. The first constitution, called the Articles of Confederation and ratified on March 1, 1781, addressed these concerns in two ways. First, the central government it created was entirely powerless. Second, the Articles were effectively unmodifiable (except by unanimous vote of all member states). Despite these advantages, this form of government eventually proved a failure.

The Constitution (1788–).— The second constitution, ratified on June 21, 1788 and called simply the Constitution, is the one currently in force. Its framers acknowledged the need for a strong central government, but still wished to prevent any one person from controlling it tyrannically. Therefore, ultimate power was split into three pieces and scattered across the country, assuring that only one who was pure of heart and wise of soul could ever hope to be able to decipher the clues and assemble the pieces back into a working government. (This occurred March 4, 1789.) As a further improvement over the rigidity of the Articles of Confederation, the current Constitution is a living constitution, allowing for its basic framework of laws to be modified or ignored when necessary.

Bill of Rights (1791–).— The years immediately following ratification of the Constitution were a time of unspeakable horror and savagery. The newly-created Federal Government, entirely unrestrained by any notion of civil rights, butchered citizens by the thousands and subjected countless others to tortures and cruelty beyond the scope of sane imagination. Property was seized, homes destroyed, trials were conducted in sham fashion with the accused denied the merest semblance of due process. In a desperate response, the Bill of Rights, a pair of stone tables on which Ten Amendments were engraved, was presented to Congress by James Madison and ratified on December 15, 1791, slowing down the reign of terror.

The country’s full name is United States of America. For convenience, the of America part may be omitted. Alternatively, the adjectival form of the name may omit The United States of. However, for the sake of clarity, a least one of the aforementioned two phrases should be retained.

—Encyclopedia Blipvertica.