The tank is my headboard. I shall not vomit.

Thou makest me to lie on thy green toilet rug;

Thou makest me to barf into thy still blue waters.

Thy handle restoreth thy bowl.

Thou leadest me down the the hallway, for my roommate's sake.

Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Bacardi 151,

I will fear no alcohol, for thou art just down the hall, third door on the left.

Thy seat and thy handle, they comfort me.

Thou preparest a place for me out of the sight of my houseguests.

Thou anointest my head with cool water. Thy bowl runneth over.

Surely aspirin and tylenol shall follow thee, all the days of my life.

And I will dwell on the linoleum floor 'til morning.