Rice Krispies Treats are an art form. It's not a quick three step process as they claim about melting butter in a pan and adding cereal. There's much more to it that that.. It you want to make Kick Ass Rice Krispies Treats, try the following:

The fact remains that that Kellogg’s had mass produced anything and everything they can throw their name on, including Rice Krispies Treats, which now can be bought in a handy box of eight individually wrapped snacks. There are the originals, chocolate chip, and chocolate and peanut butter ones. Gag me. Who wants that shit. The best ones come from someone's kitchen!

The original recipe and instructions, as per Snap, Crackle and Pop:

3 Tablespoons of Margarine
1 Package (10oz. or about 40) Regular Marshmallows or...
4 Cups Miniature Marshmallows
6 Cups Kellogg’s® RICE KRISPIES® Cereal


1. Melt it! Melt margarine in a large saucepan over low heat. Add marshmallows and stir until completely melted. Remove from heat.

2. Mix it! Add Kellogg’s® RICE KRISPIES® Cereal. Stir until well coated.

3. Spread it! Using buttered spatula or waxes paper, press mixture evenly into 13x9x2-inch pan coated with cooking spray. Cut into 2x2-inch squares when cool.

Yield: 24 squares
Notes: Use fresh marshmallows for best results
Do not use diet or reduced fat margarine

And I'm not even going to bother mentioning the microwave instructions... It's shameful.


And the revisions to the above:
To turn your Rice Krispies Treats into Kick Ass Rice Krispies Treats:

* Start off by doubling the cereal, 12 cups of cereal, 1 entire stick of butter and 2.5 bags of marshmallows. You should buy 2 and maybe have a 1/2 of a bag left over from the last BBQ.

* DO NOT use margarine! Butter tastes better, you are making treats, not a diet food. Use nasty, fattening, artery-clogging butter. No exceptions.

* Take your stick of butter and grease the pan with it before you toss it in the saucepan to melt it. You'll need that bit of lube to get these ones out of the pan.

* Melt butter as the instructions say, and marshmallows. Add cereal etc... then, DO NOT remove from heat! As soon as they start to cool you are doomed, and it's a lot of cereal you have to mix. Keep the heat low and on.

* When ready, scoop your mix into the pan. Press it around as much as you can, it's gunna start getting gunky real fast. So when you have as much out of the pan as you can manage, reach for some butter, margarine or whatever, it's just to grease your hands, rub it over your fingers (after you wash your cootie infested hands) and start packing the Rice Krispies in the pan. It's the easiest way to do it, and you have a lot to jam in that pan after doubling the cereal. When you start getting sticky, get a little more lube.

* When finished, the only way you are going to clean that mess up is by re-melting the sugar from the marshmallows. Super hot water to clean everything up with.

* When everything is cool, use a buttered up pizza cutter to slice those puppies up. Serve... Enjoy... MMMMMM. :)