An amusing bartending trick a friend related to me.

Wherever you bartend, be it for a private party, a charity ball, or the local chain restaurant, you are almost guaranteed to have someone (usually a swank- and/or greased-looking young male hipster) walk up to the bar and demand, in a very snooty voice, a "Very Dry Martini." The first few to do this are somewhat amusing; the rest are vaguely annoying -- it is nearly impossible to pour less than a few drops of vermouth out of the bottle when you're in a hurry.

If you want to pour the ultimate dry martini, you have to do a little prep work, but in my opinion, it is quite worth it.

  1. Prep one shaker with a good-sized cloth napkin by packing it tightly at the very bottom of the shaker (you don't want it to be visible).
  2. Fill an empty gin bottle with water (unless you really feel like wasting the Tanqueray or sucking it out of the napkin.)
  3. Wait for somebody to order a "Very Dry Martini"
  4. Ice the prepped shaker and pour in the requisite shot and a half of "gin" and two drops of vermouth .
  5. Shake or stir, as they desire.
  6. Upend the shaker over the chilled cocktail glass. Watch their face. Make a silly quip about the exceedingly arid nature of this cocktail.
It's probably proper to make them a martini in an un-napkined shaker with real gin after you've had a laugh at their expense, since if you're bartending at a nice charity ball, you're probably getting paid good money to do it.