hello. i am 4 years old so be nice. daddy says people that votedown this are in trouble. i am also a child prodigy.

e2 is a nice place so far.

anyway, i hear you like storeys. i will tell you one now. and i try won't to use nonsense words like flippy, bideedeedoo, and poopypants.

I ATE THE FOOD WITH MY MOUTH

part 1: mommy and me talking

the other day me and mommy were hanging out. i was coloring with my crayons and mommy was busy making lunch.

--mommy, i asked her. where is daddy?

--he's at work, she said. he's busy all the time. that's why he hasn't been around for 4 years. i probably wouldn't recon-nize him after the last time i saw him.

--do i have brothers and sisters? i asked her.

--well, there's kyle, she said.

--but that's only my half-brother.

--that's true. kyle has a different daddy. his daddy is from muncie.

--is that why i can beat him at arm-wrestling and he's 17 and i'm only 4 years old?

--yes.

i looked at mommy. --so, do i have any other half-brothers and sisters?

--yes, she said. but they're really old. your daddy hadn't visited our neighborhood for a long time before he came to visit me.

wow. at this point mommy was sad.

part 2: lunch

--lunch is ready, said mommy.

--oh boy.

she came out with a plate and turned off the cartoons.

--when i grow up, i'm going to rule the world, i said.

--that's true, she said. that's what the creepy old woman down the street with the 57 cats says.

i decided to play a game with mommy.

--where do i eat the food, with my ears?

--no, said mommy.

--do i eat it with my nose?

--no, said mommy. don't be silly.

--my armpit?

--don't be disgusting, said mommy. have some manners.

i know. with my mouth!

--very good, said mommy.

part 3: the end

and that's what i did with my day. mommy gave me candy when i threatened to make a big tantrum. anyway, maybe this belongs in daylogs, but this is like a storey. i like storeys. ok bye.