chinoodle's guide to creating a surprisingly secure password:

Firstly, you need to find a scrap of paper which doesn't have anything important written on it. This is crucial, as you'll be burning it later on.

Now, book yourself into a Past Life Regression therapy clinic. Explore your past lives, and choose one (not the one you feel inexplicably drawn to). Focus on that life, and find the street name on which you (as them .. ) were born. Now reverse it. Write down the resultant string of letters on your scrap of paper. If you never had a home in any of your past lives, and were always born a homeless scrounger, your god is trying to tell you something and you should probably just hang yourself in shame.

Onto the next step. Ask the Past Life therapist to put you in touch with a strange old voodoo woman. Visit her, and ask her to put a curse on someone you don't like (choosing a member of your family might be self fulfilling - see later). The 'curse' will involve plenty of weird shit, but make sure you note the number of crow's beaks she uses.

Now you have two parts. For the third part of the password, win the lottery. It's very important that you win the jackpot for this. When you get your winners cheque, note down the tiny reference number in the bottom corner. It should have plenty of letters and numbers. Make sure you use the real cheque, and not the novelty giant one they use for the presentation.

You should by now have a reasonable length alphanumeric string written down on your scrap of paper.

The next stage is more tricky. You need a member of your family (you should have plenty to hand after winning the lottery), a stopwatch, and a very tall building (15 stories or more). Use the promise of free money to lure one family member onto the roof of your chosen building, and throw them off. Take out the stopwatch and start the counter from the exact moment they hit the ground. Keep counting the seconds until the first police officer arrives on the scene (if they land on a police officer, make yourself scarce and try again later). Note down this time, and also the time taken from the first police officer arriving on the scene, to the moment they find and arrest you (you are allowed to move through the building to lengthen this period).

And now the final step. The first time you meet your lawyer (he should be a very expensive one considering your lottery win) deck him. Then remember the name of the first police officer who jumps on you to restrain you.

Write all these text and number strings down on your scrap of paper, and lo! You have your new password. This password is guaranteed to be fully secure.

Your last act as a free man should of course be to burn the scrap of paper.