A polite commentary on ongoing events of common interest in the world today, i.e. the disaster. Thank you for having me here today and for considering me for a Nobel Peace Prize. I am truly honored. You know, I remember talking to a hawker of wares at a recent Nodermeet just a couple of years ago and he told me that my work on social commentary is why he "gets up in the morning." Good on him.

As a publisher of extremely well received columns on social commentary, I take heart in that. You would too. If you were me. You know you would. Piece of ass. I remember when they published porn in the 1970s. Made the streets dirty. Good heavens. What a time. You could get a good steak, though.

I remember this one time I went to the privately owned 1980s era video rental store that is still operating TO THIS DAY in my neighborhood. I rented Out of Africa and inside was a crappy tape with the words "good reel" written on it. I watched this tape SEVERAL times. It was video of a man running through the woods naked trying to become the sexual concubine of a feral cat.

Really heady stuff.

Medically yours,

Dr. Peter Swilling