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I have to tell you (as your friend who is named Behr) that I was not really prepared for this long journey starting in the forests of Bavaria. Truth by told, I expected us to use the military transport plane since it was supposed to be a long journey and as such only put on one of my shoes. So, now one of my socks is very wet and dirty (the one not having benefit of shoe) and extends several inches beyond the reach of my toes, which are not gnarled and birdlike the way women's hands become when they become old and useless.

The old bearded man leading the party tells me it is "complicated" when I question him about not using the military transport plane or other modern conveniences. The elf keeps smiling at me. He knows I know.

Some glowing red dead German soldiers from the time when Germany was great again attacked us while riding Bavarian night wolves, but the people I am traveling with are pretty handy with weapons and were able to defeat them although one of the fully grown bearded men traveling with us was killed. He kept wanting to touch me so I'm not too sad about this.

For some reason there are four children in the group and after the bearded guy was made dead I was sent off with two of the children. This seems like a very unsound plan to me and should provide many opportunities for escape.

I will be with you again helping to make American great again.

My friends.

PS: The WiFi (internet kiddie slang) is spotty out here in the forests of Bavaria so I am uncertain as to how often I will be able to update.