We flew out of Boryspil International Airport this afternoon headed back to Bavaria. There we had some issues that began when I got a telegram I couldn't read. It was written in Italian according to one of the Dutch boys and they didn't know how to read it either. It was signed "Il Duce" but the rest of it we coudn't figure out. This guy used to send me these kinds of telegrams a lot during the 1970s but I threw them away because I was building up my business brand by scalping tickets at the US Open when he sent one of the telegrams and that was wrong of him, especially since I don't know what he wants because he doesn't write English.

We flew in a crappy plane with a lot of non-English speaking folks (probably illegal immigrants) on board. It was so frustrating that I took matters into my own hands. By the time we got to Augsburg after I diverted the flight away from Kiev, the pilot, hairless ass weasel, two Dutch boys, and friend Behr were the only things left alive on the plane. Some people had been flying with their pets. I am efficient. One day I will apply my efficiency to the systematic mass killing of the doctors who are draining our economy by tricking people into living beyond the point where they are of value to the workforce. They are the biggest problem in America and I will put an end to medical science once and for all to punish it for its falsehoods and for allowing women to practice medicine (against the advice of every sane person ever born).

Sorry, I got worked up a little there. The Borscht on the plane is terrible.

We are making our final approach to Augsburg and I need to hold onto the gun I have in the pilot's face while he lands so he doesn't try any trickery. The biggest child is fighting with the hairless ass weasel again. I am sick of that nonsense.

I will update you from the road. The children insist we set out on foot again. Little bastards.