Your friend Behr (me) who you support in all his endeavors has new information for you.
First of all you need to STOP mowing your lawn now.
The problem is threefold. The first is that it has been brought to my attention that plants have feelings and achieved full consciousness in 1878. This needs to concern you. It needs to concern you right now. It needs to control everything you do in every facet of every single second of every day of your life. You are hurting the grass by cutting it. You are hurting the trees by pruning them. Leave well enough alone and get away from the plants they have an agenda. Right now we do not know what that agenda is but they are coming for us. They have their minds FIXED on revenge and they WILL have it. Believe me. They WILL HAVE IT.
We must be ready by making peace with them now. Go out naked into a public garden at this time. Prance about to music that exists only in your head. Tell everyone that questions you to go fuck themselves. This is the answer.
As you know, I am a proud climate change warrior working on behalf of the environment.
For the love of all that is holy please, please, please stop cutting your lawns. I cannot emphasize this enough. Water the plants. Bring them gifts from Jared's (which is a well known jewelry store I see on the television). Introduce them to the narrow parts of your genitalia. Show them. Show them you care. Show them with erection or vaginal moistness. This is what they respond best to. Vaginal moistness.
Do it. Do it now. I have to get into the quantum accelerator and go back to 1878 to see if I can figure this out. Rico has jimmied the machine so I can travel outside of my lifetime. I am close to achieving my ultimate goal of total control.
My friends.