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I have been pressed into service by the State of New York, on authority from the governor, to remain outside.

Let me take moment to 'splain. I have some 'splainin' to do, as it were.

If you do not remain in your home, you will be confronted by ME, a barely dressed sexually aggressive ninety-year-old man who is horny as all get out. And on authority of the governor, if you are outside without a reason, congregating in groups... guess what? YOU MEET ME. And the gloves, AND my pants will be off. My pants will be way the fuck over there and not where I can put them on very easily. You and your group are no match for what Governor Cuomo calls "a Nassy Superweapon with an X-Man type hand" (that is me, your friend Behr).

I have clearance to do as I wish with you and your group. And I have a LOT of fluids leaking out of me and I am desperate to get at dat azz.

Take your chances?

I would stay inside if I were you.

 

@ Berhardt Goates PSA Corporation, ELLC