There are so many times, looking back at life, when you seem to wish
you were there again, in a moment frozen for eternity. You long to be
back there, with the people, with the dreams, the hopes and
asperations; back to the thoughts you lost with age. You wish you
could have the same hopful gaze when you look into the world, you try
and capture the few memories you have, you beg god and the devil to
let you have them back, but to no avail. The time has come and gone,
and you are stuck, in this tiny space between the future and the past,
looking for a way to get away from this hell of the present.
You look for pictures to take you back to the times when your life was
full of all the emotions you have lost with your life. You seek out
ways to bring about the joy and pleasure of thoes days and nights,
back when you had a smile on your face. You wish that you were back
there, and turn to drugs, and alcohol to bring you back, temporarily,
to the places where you could feel.
Will you feel that way again? Did you ever feel that way? Is your
memory lying to you? Do you forget the hell that was your life back
then? Do you forget the constant pain that you felt back then? Did
you push away the pain, and only keep thoes positive memories? You
wish you were there, but when you were, did you wish you were somwhere
else?
Its worse now, atleast then I had the girl of my dreams near me. Now
all I have are pictures of her, pictures of her that I cherish, but
pictures that only show her face, and not her, not the amazing being
that she is.
I love you jess.