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user since
Fri Jan 18 2002 at 01:26:54 (19.8 years ago )
last seen
Mon Oct 15 2007 at 19:00:40 (14 years ago )
number of write-ups
16 - View claypenny's writeups (feed)
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3 (Scribe) / 1089
mission drive within everything
Smile. Lots.
I dabble in happiness. I've perfected self-entertainment. I know when enough is enough.
A more recent Me, and the objects of my affection: www.geocities.com/laurahcortez/update.html
"When people show you who they are, believe them." ~Maya Angelou
most recent writeup
Letter to baby, from mama
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Go here. http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html
Take the tour. You may pee your pants. It is worth it my friend.


E2 is kind of broken these days, and here's where I get MY say...

My "real" contact with you noders is limited. Those of you whom I've met so far have been lovely. Beyond-my-wildest-imagination kind of cool. And this probably contributes quite a bit to my seemingly naive willingness to give every last one of you my respect unless proven otherwise. But I'd rather be wrong than cynical.

Aside from my sister, Witchiepoo, I've only known a few of you along the way. But, as noders, radlab0 and Quizro were first. And man, was that something amazing. Julia's this magical little woman, completely unlike anyone I know. I've never had a crush on a girl before. And Wade? My goodness does that man know how to make me giggle, by doing nothing more than being Wade. That's good shit right there. Never have I been more at ease in the company of strangers.

Then Roninspoon, who, for all his light-hearted silliness, sent me the single most thought-provoking message I have ever read. And the best part about it is, he has NO idea that he changed my entire life for the better. And later dann, a man who sees the whole world in a special way. And most recently, Snowy who brought instant friendship with her like Cup-a-Soup. My house was a little lonelier without her in it. And how weird is it to know someone for a few hours, talk about every personal subject one could imagine and then go to bed together like it was a no big deal at all?

E2 is not just a website. It IS a family. And every family has its handful of creepy uncles, and rebellious teenagers, and cheek-pinching third cousins who wear too much perfume. It has its cliques and alliances and clubs in which you'll never be invited. It has its branches of people you may never meet, but you find yourself touched in a way that may surprise you if one of them disappears.

Each person brings with them a special purpose. That one quality, if not many, that is irreplaceable. That's what this place represents. And there will always be arguments here, even about the actual purpose of E2, or about what is appropriate and what is not. There will always be the attempt to lay down the law, and always always revolution. And somewhere in between, a whole lot of disagreement about what the rules are, and what they "should" be.

But my loyalties lie with the people whom I have come to know and love from this website, not in the website itself. Because what is E2 without the people?

I'll be the first to tell you that I don't know what the hell the big deal is about the over-C!ed, over-hyped, waste of time that is Butterfinger McFlurry. But I'll also say that the fact that it causes SO much damn controversy makes me roll my eyes and laugh a little, and celebrate that it sticks around. Kind of like the pointless dribble of Andy Warhol, BMcF is pop art. Kind of stupid, not impressive in the least, but legendary in its own right, and inexplicably entertaining.

I'll be the first to admit that some people spend far too much emotional energy here. That some even seem to use this place as a safe way to bully others and feel superior. I'll even admit that I am a little less enthused about logging in since a few of the more dramatic developments have taken place, taking away some of the very people I come here for. But for the most part, this is a place where it seems that everyone can come to find something they can relate to. And that's worth quite a bit of respect.

Me? I come back because I like it here. I come back because this place has taught me everything from trivia, to linguistics, to empathy, to meeting strangers without crapping my pants. E2 makes me laugh, makes me cry, makes me all geeked to be invited to events worth flying to. E2 connects me to every OTHER place, when I'd like to be anywhere but here.

And I consider it the greatest gift, to be able to peek into your lives through the tiny glimpses of secret you spill out into your words. Even you factual noders who wouldn't touch a daylog with a ten-foot pole, there is something very telling about the words you pick. And I am honored to be a part of that.

My personal goal with E2 is to treat you all with the respect you deserve. To node things that I find interesting, or well-written enough to share, and to have the balls to delete it when it's not well-received. To learn to appreciate the intent of the creepy uncles and pinchy cousins, and forgive to the best of my ability, their actions. And most importantly, to remember that there IS life outside of my computer, and to not take it all so damned seriously.

For those of you who decide to leave this place... it is not where you ARE that matters much to me, and I'll be seeing you soon. ;)


"Maybe the moral high ground ain't as high as it seems.
Maybe we are both good people who've done some bad things.
I just hope it was okay. I know it wasn't perfect.
I hope in the end we can laugh and say it was all worth it."

~Ani Difranco


Things that made me happy today.
I am realizing that smiles are not always a certainty.
Therefore I will savor each one, and even report a few.

~ Hearing what he's looking forward to.

Things that made me happy yesterday and are still worth remembering...
~ Damn good spaghetti.

________________________________________________________________________________ Quotables

"The fate of death is twaggic." ~Tyler, my 6 yr. old son's best friend.

"Somebody take this before I stick it in my ass."
"I went out on a limb, and apparently I fell off." ~Jeff

"I am SO gonna fuck my cake." ~Witchiepoo

"Hey Mom, we should get a t.v. in our bathroom so I can watch movies while I poop. Wouldn't that be nice?" ~Mike

"I'd like to kill a bear with my own hands some day." ~Mary

"Pharmacology? Why are they making you study agriculture?" ~Erin

Michael and I were watching "The Simpsons". Homer is laying around in his underwear reading "Playdude." Michael is perplexed. "Mom, are Homer and Marge getting a divorce?", he asks. I say, "No. Why?" "Well, why is he shopping in that woman catalog?"


Quizro's wang of fire is useful on camping trips.

Cletus the Foetus says That sounds much better than my former pick-up line, which was: "You'll do." Thanks for the totally wicked tips!

Walter says You and Sarah are both amazing. You're like the Brontes except you don't suck.

ascorbic says claypenny and witchie is scientific PROOF that rocksingness runs in families.

witchiepoo says HA! We broke it with smut power!

karmaflux says Sometimes, when I walk down the street, women simply fall over, having torn their pants off in their haste to masturbate furiously to my staggering beauty.

El Puerco Loco says If nothing else, a big war in Iraq will at least give the History Channel some badly needed new programming, I mean Hitler's great and all, but even he gets boring after a while.

izubachi says It's positively life-affirming to know that someone, somewhere, would like to buy my feces.


I must have waited all my life for this
the mama and the dancing girl, unfurling
Long after bedtime I will wake up and sit crosslegged watching you. It is your fault for having your face.
Why the world is more beautiful with a creator
It will be a hot day and these two ice cubes. We will melt, become one.
Disabled, but able to rock!
The terrorists have already won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's!
What the scroll in the cave told me.
Helping your kid brother die
From the shower, I nearly saved the world
The Simpsons live in Oregon
Dunces who waste and lie: An attack on NASA's manned space travel
It's mean to hide a kitten in a puppy's butt