Would you like to help me out?
Or must I take the easy route
and masturbate all by myself?
I am blue and it is bad
despite the night that I just had
I'm oh-so-swollen in the 'nads
Make me better, I'm in hell
We have cold drinks and drugs as well
Just come over, no one will tell
Now is not the time to be
a prude or even just lazy
Hop in your car, then hop on me
We'll have a blast, that's a bet
A night that you won't soon forget
Let's live our lives with no regrets