Once again I shamelessly abuse my lack of supervision and the abundant resources of the Federal Government. While my wallet grows fat on your tax dollars.

I am searching for information put out by the National Center for Alternative Medicine, in an attempt to uncripple myself.

This morning I found my Lucky Monkey in my old bedroom at my parents' house. I pulled him out of a dresser drawer. When he saw me, he began to cry but his tear-ducts were choked with dust. I had to assure him that I didn't abandon him for a new monkey-love. Then he insisted on riding the bus to work with me. He made faces and obscene gestures at the other passengers and they stared at me, cock-eyed.

The spider mites cover the stone-work in front of the Library. The steps are stained red with their juices. All over my pants, too.

The cardigan-drones buzz and click their fingers, and the heels of their sensible shoes.

Boredom exhausts me, but I sit quietly, twitching, carpet-staring, trading insults with imaginary friends...