So like, she's got this scar,
and if you know her then you know her goddamn scar because whenever
she meets somebody one of the first things she does is show them her
finger and the spot where the saw sliced it open when they cut a ring
off it a few years ago so early in the morning. So that's her story.
What she does when you meet her is ask did you notice her scar? and
no, you didn't so she launches into the story.
Admirably,
interestingly, the story has not changed, not been embellished, none
of that over the 10 gazillion times I've heard it. The details are the
same, they stay: wedding day was yesterday and tonight is honeymooning
for her and her groom but she has an allergic reaction to
what-the-fuck-ever and each one of her fingers on her left hand swells
up like balloons and the ring is choking the neck of one of them and
the choice is to hurry and saw the new wedding ring off or saw the
finger off later after the rot has taken it away. So to the doctor
they go and she's shaking the whole fucking time and then the doctor's
shaking the whole fucking time because they woke him up because
however the hell she got this allergic reaction infection thing she
did it at 2 thirty in the goddamn morning and so the doc's tired and
all and then - shit - he slices too far and opens her finger and as
the ring drops to the floor the blood begins to flow sweetly again and
the drops frighten her to fainting (for that's a not-so-uncommon quirk
that she has) and she wakes up with stitches and her story and drops
of blood in her mind. 'She' is Chloe and I guess it doesn't sound like
it from the way I just talked about her but I am completely and madly
in love with her and I always have been even though now she's married.
We've been best friends for-fucking-ever and I always thought that she
was secretly in love with me like I was with her, that she had a
secret idea that one night we would be up watching monster movies near
dawn and outside it would be rainy but we would walk to the store
anyway to buy Raisinettes and the store would be chained up and we
would laugh there but the store wouldn't have an awning so we would
hold our coats over our heads and when we would go to cross Broadway a
lot of cars would come from nowhere and I'd stand in front of her so
the tire splashes from oily puddles wouldn't dirty her clothes and
when we'd get to the other side of the street I'd trip on a slick spot
and she'd help me up and that is when we would be looking at each
other but instead of it being quietly awkward we would kiss and then
later we'd marry. But she married Mark and I never did tell her I love
her and I have never hated anybody the way I hate Mark. I guess like
last Thursday Chloe and I were walking around while Mark was playing
poker with his dipshit buddies and all when we remembered that the
news had told us that morning that tonight would have a lunar eclipse,
so we looked up trying to find the moon and when we found it she said
it was beautiful and I thought it was too but I kept my mouth shut
because I'm no good at telling her how I feel and when I try to it
comes out all wrong and I come out like an ass. The eclipse was either
just starting or just ending -- I couldn't tell – and I asked her how
they knew it would be an eclipse tonight and she smiled and breathed
through her mouth and it was cold enough to see her breath and I
thought that her cloud of an exhale looked beautiful so I stopped
looking at the moon and started looking at her face and I got nervous
every time she breathed. She asked me what I was thinking and I knew I
wouldn't be able to answer her but that I wouldn't be able to lie so I
told her that she looked really nice tonight and she smiled her
biggest smile, which she doesn't like because it's rectangly and she
doesn't think that smiles should be rectangly but I think that
everyone who sees her smile must go home afterwards and write a poem
about it or a paint a picture or write a song, it's that fucking
beautiful.
She knew I was joking when I asked how they knew it would be an
eclipse tonight, that's why she smiled. She knew because we went to
school together, but I guess you didn't know. We started walking again
and maybe out in the country it would have been darker but in New York
City there are goddamn lights everywhere and maybe the idea is to help
you forget how small you really are. We were talking about Mark and
his poker game and they had been married for five years and she
thought they were in a rut and then she dropped the fucking bombshell
– she didn't know if she loved him anymore. She wanted to know what to
do.
"
Marry me," I breathed. I knew she wouldn't really hear it.
"What?"
"Nothing, I don't know... if you don't love him then I guess you
should get a divorce."
"I really thought we would last."
Neither of us knew what to say then so we kind of shut up and
looked at the cars drive by and people walk by -- since I've quit
smoking I've this habit of looking at the hands of people on the
street to see if they are smoking, and I'm always disappointed for
some reason when they're only holding a cell phone. Fifteen minutes
went by; I still didn't know what to say but I wanted to say
something, you know?
So I asked if she wanted Raisinettes and she said I was brilliant
as it started to rain and when we got to the store at the corner it
was chained – 2:30 in the morning and the store had no awning. God, I
thought, if you're fucking with me... She said "Makeshift umbrellas!"
and pulled her coat above her hair and I did too and we ran but there
were cars everywhere and I saved her from the puddles and I thought
this is it, this is my dream, this is a sign, I have to fucking kiss
her and we got across the street and I slipped and she helped me up
and we were looking into each other's faces and it wasn't at all
awkward and the eclipse was ending now – I knew because while we were
silent together and I was counting cars and cigarettes, the moon had
vanished and was returning now, just a sliver still covered – and we
were looking at each other and her breath was making clouds that
didn't hang in the sky, it was making clouds that floated to heaven if
we were going to kiss and floated to the soulless fucking atmosphere
and full moon if we weren't and her clouds fogged my glasses and her
clouds meant everything and if we kissed her clouds would stop and my
clouds would stop and everything would work and Mark wouldn't matter
and her scar would be all that was left of the bastard; scars are
forever but lovers aren't always and our clouds floated and the
eclipse ended – this had to have been a full minute now of looking at
each other even though I couldn't really see her through my hazy
glasses and I was thinking of clouds and smoke and Mark and scars and
the moon and most of all I was thinking that this wouldn't happen
again and I was frozen but I took my glasses off, our faces so close,
and we smiled and her eyes closed and I closed mine too, we leaned in
and I knew.
this is my very first write-up (node?), a short story of mine. sorry if i made any clueless mistakes.