Here's my favorite.
Three guys are playing their usual course one day, and a single walks up to ask if he can join and make a foursome. They say, "Sure." But he's a bit late getting to the tee, and they have to play right away. In fact, it's the fourth tee before they have a break to get acquainted.
They introduce themselves, and one of the regulars says, "So, what do you do for a living?"
The stranger says, "You won't believe it, but I'm a hit man for the Mafia."
"Bullshit," one guy says.
"No, go look in my bag. I keep my rifle in there all the time."
The skeptic goes over to the stranger's bag and pulls out a beautiful high-powered rifle. He points it up to the sky and says, "Man! Look at the scope on this thing! I bet this scope alone cost 5 grand. Hey, I can see my house. There's my bedroom window. Whoa, there's my wife, butt-naked. And there's my next-door neighbor. He's butt-naked, too."
The guy lowers the rifle with a look of horror on his face. "How much do you charge to kill people?" he asks the hit man.
"Every time I pull that trigger, it's a thousand bucks, buddy."
"Well, I want you to kill both of 'em. Shoot her in the mouth for all the bullshit I've had to listen to for all these years. And shoot him in the dick for what he's been doing to her."
So the hit man raises his rifle and aims at the window. Several minutes go by. The anxious husband says, "What the hell are you waiting on?"
The hit man says, "Would you calm down. I'm just about to save you a thousand dollars."