Lawyer Ron


Lawyer Ron was happy. His huge toothy smile was on four billboards in town, one of which he drove directly underneath every day on his way to his new smoked glass offices. That same gleaming goofy grin was also on the back of every phone book in the county; a full page ad which proudly proclaimed, "Home and hospital visits at no charge," and "No fees unless we win your case. Lawyer Ron's Solemn Promise!"

Lawyer Ron had chased ambulances and schemed and lied his way into millions upon millions. His wife was sporting new and improved pointers while his two kids had bought all the private school friends they could stand.

Lawyer Ron had managed to do all of this without one whiff of remorse. He prided himself on lacking a conscience. He often thought to himself, "That's just a superstition, like Fate."


His new iPhone rang. It was the hospital, where everyone knew his name. "You better come down here, Lawyer Ron. Your son has been in an accident."

Lawyer Ron popped his Mercedes SL600 into second gear and made a u-turn, almost running a policeman off the road. The policeman waved "hello" as Lawyer Ron sped away.


"How bad is it, doc?"

"He's had a tree limb almost slice him in two. He may live, but he'll never walk or talk again."

"Who caused this? Someone is going to pay like no one has ever paid before!"

"It was your son's fault. He was drunk. He ran a school bus off the road and killed three fourth graders and severely injured twelve more. The kids were all from your gated community. One of the dead is the Attorney General's daughter."


It was going to be a bad quarter for Lawyer Ron.