"One call, buddy."

The guard pushed me into the room, and closed the door behind me. I sat down at the terminal, my hands sweating as I pushed the CONNECT button.

Suddenly, the room was filled with an ear-piercing screech, as the modem began howling arbitrary noises down the phone line. I couldn't see them, but I knew the electrons were shooting down the wire, like little pieces of light out of a laser. And then, silence. I was in!

A dialogue box popped up.

Notice: You may visit only one website before your session will be terminated. Choose wisely. Please enter a URL.

I stared at it blankly for a few seconds, and then slowly typed in my destination.

http://www.everything2.com

A quick tab, then an enter sent my request to the server, and within a few seconds I was greeted with the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Node number 124 was before me, prominently displayed in the e2 jukka theme.

I realize that I'd better use this wisely, they'll surely only let me node a single writeup. I sit for a minute, pondering what I should use this time, potentially my final access to everything, to write. Then, like a super rodent in attack mode, it hits me. I type my node title into the search box.

Sorry, but nothing matching that was found.
Of course, I could let you create a new node.

I confidently press submit, and then proceed to write my masterpiece. I click "submit".

"Hey, new guy. Time's up, come on."

I look behind me, to see the guard waiting. Desperate to see the fruits of my labor, I click over to the Everything homepage before leaving. As I walk out of the room, I turn my head, and see my node, at the top of the Cream of the Cool:

Be Careful when you Bend Over: An E2 Gathering at Alameda County Prison