A few weeks ago, I finally saw what I believe was a crackhead.

My friend Kate and I were waiting in the DWA at Broadview Station for our friends Antonia and Avery to show up so we could venture off to the west end to a party together. Kate was hammered and we were telling each other anecdotes from our week of work when a skinny little guy came down the stairs.

He wasn't walking, he was lunging around with his arms swinging near the edge of the platform. At first I believed he may be drunk, only he wasn't slow like someone'd be if they were. He was agile and seemed elastic in his movements. I doubted he was a loon because he was interested in my friend and I. I honestly think he was altered.

I became concerned that he may jump in front of the next train but I was soon made very aware of his thoughts and they were quite contrary, provoking other fears.

He started to stare at my friend and I and he was humming some sort of tune to himself. He pointed at me, took a deep breath and sang:

Bitch, your mouth looks nice, 
Bitch, let's get it on tonight.
So nice was his suggestive body language, his wiggling tongue and crotch grabbing. He kept pulling up his shirt and pinching his nipples and rubbing his chest while singing more.

Let me show you a good time,
Gonna fuck you from behind.
He slid and then crouched next to the spot on the bench I was sitting on in one swift movement. My heart was pounding and I stood up and walked over next to the bench where Kate was sitting and moved her liquor off the bench. There were bags of garbage next to that side of the bench and he'd have to sit in that if he wanted to be that close to us.

"Kate... Let's go."

She told me to ignore him. I shot her an evil glance.


Bitch, spread your legs for me.
C'mon and let me in you, please.
I looked at Kate straight in the eyes, noting that she was wearing far too much makeup. All of the pores in her cheeks were clogged with powder and her lips were meticulously painted red hours ago, but some of the colour was feathering off onto her skin.

She burped. I swear, I saw green smoke come out of her mouth.

"Tequila." She announced.

I sighed.

Antonia and Avery then rounded the corner with the heads of puppets that were to be used later on that evening (a long story- I learned my friends were very odd that night) and the crackhead became distracted. Ave's hand was up the backside of a beat up koala wearing a vintage David Bowie t-shirt and he was waving at him. Antonia had a Sid Vicious paper bag puppet and was waving along beneath the bear.

The crackhead paced around and moaning and watching the impromptu puppetshow. He was probably wondering what the hell was going on around him, all confused and paranoid like.

I could hear a train rumbling out from the east. A blessing, but if he was going to jump, he may have done it then then and all I could think of was just how fucked up the past fifteen minutes were and how I would not want to watch anything brutal like him leaping in front of the train.

I suggested to Kate we walk together down the platform once the train approached the station, so that we'd get into a different car than he and got up. She was watching him pace and followed my lead to a different area on the platform, collecting my puppeteer friends along the way.

I love North America's cleanest and safest transit system.