Untitled
The stage is blank. Two people walk onto stage from stage right, a male, then a female following. It doesn't seem like they know each other. Suddenly the female runs ahead and grasps the hand of the male in front of her; she whirls him around, until they are standing at stage center, face to face, perpendicular to the audience.
Male: (in mid-turn, not angrily) Hey!
Female: Excuse me! I HAVE AN IDEA!
Male: What?
Female: This is kind of weird, but...
Male: What is it?
Female: (shyly) Will you be my --
Male: --no!
Female: (dejected) ......Okay. (She thinks, then suddenly gives him a light hug and runs off stage right, at full speed.)
Male: Hey! (quietly)
(He looks around himself, at the audience, unsure. He starts to walk back towards stage left. In a few seconds, she enters back from stage right, and grabs his hand, whirls him around, much like their original position.)
Male: --You know, you shouldn't do that to a stranger --
(She suddenly gives him a tighter, longer hug this time. Male trails off when she hugs him; then she suddenly runs off stage right, at full speed.)
Male: Hey... (more quietly.)
(He looks around again, unsure, but waiting. In a few seconds, she enters back from stage right, stands back in her original position.)
(They pause, looking at each other.)
(She gives him a tight, long, intimate hug. It's anticipated by both of them, this time, and they both close their eyes during it. They release each other, and stand apart gently.)
Male: I missed you.
Female: I missed you too.
(The male takes the female's hand, and together they walk off stage left.)
(It's of absolute utmost importance that all the embraces in the above play are completely non-sexual and platonic.)
Untitled 2
(A male and female enter from stage left, shoulder to shoulder. They stop at stage center, and turn so that they're both facing the audience. They speak, act, and express themselves, however, as if they're looking at each other.)
Female: Hey..
Male: Yes?
Female: (stomps her foot on the ground) It's such a nice night.
Male: Yeah. (clucks with his tongue)
(pause)
Male: Will you date me?
Female: Only if we're honest.
Male: (clucks) I promise we will be honest.
Female: (stomps) Okay.
(Pause. They both smile blissfully, and then walk off stage right, shoulder to shoulder.)
(A new male and a new female enter from stage right, shoulder to shoulder. They are different people. It makes no difference whether they are dressed differently or not. They stop at stage center, and take up the previous couple's positions, the male where the previous male was, etc.)
Male: Hey..
Female: Yes?
Male: Look how much we've changed. (clucks)
Female: It's been good, the past minutes and centuries. (stomps)
Male: It has, honey.
Female: It has... (stomps)
(pause)
Male: To be honest, I never liked your stomping.
Female: I never liked your clicking.
Male: It's clucking.
Female: Okay, clucking then. To be honest, It's annoying as all hell.
Male: Your heavy stomping is annoying, too.
Female: Heavy? I hate you.
Male: I hate you too. (clucks)
Female: Look! You're the exact same person, with the exact same faults.
Why don't you ever change? (stomps)
Male: Speak for yourself! I fixed the TRIANGLE yesterday, and all you could do was to say 'thanks'?
Female: At least I made BLUE in time for dinner!
Male: Who are you? I don't know you anymore.
Female: I'd like to think we weren't married.
Male: We aren't.
Female: All right, then.
(They glare at each other.)
Male: (clucks)
Female: (stomps)
(They walk off stage left, shoulder to shoulder.)