There are
survivalists. They think ahead to
catastrophe,
war and
Armageddon. They will be ready in their
bunkers with the 13 years of canned food and the army surplus clothing and the hand-crank radio and the
emergency leisure activities and the
guns. They are prepared...for almost everything.
There is a HUGE gap in their
armor - a gap which could get any one of them killed.
Enter me.
I am a
time travivalist (trav-VIV-a-list). I am prepared to go back in time at a moment's notice. If a
wizard appeared before me and said "
You have 5 minutes to get ready before I wizard your ass back to the 12th century"; I'd be like "
Bring it on!"
I'd just have to get my
pack which contains:
Lantern & oil
Band Aids
Scissors
Tweezers
Needle & thread (black, brown and white)
Hydrogen Peroxide
Vaseline
4
safety pins
soap
sunscreen
Latex gloves (2 pair)
Tylenol
Imodium AD
Ex-Lax
Tums
Syrup of Ipecac
Activated charcoal
Tonic water
Amoxycillyn
Penicillin
Red Vines
(all original containers have been replaced with glass and clearly marked)
Then I also have this
outfit that I invented for myself using my
vast knowledge of different times and cultures - the outfit to least likely get me
killed if spotted after my appearance in the
olden days. It is a
nun's habit for the most part - the outside has a veil and a black dress with long sleeves. It turns quickly into a
Pilgrim outfit when the veil converts into a kind of
nurses hat thingy. If I am projected into a time that is unfriendly to both
nuns and
pilgrim ladies, the skirt quickly reverses into a
brown (tea dyed) long skirt and under the top is a white
poet blouse and white
petticoat. The nun's veil/pilgrim hat can be used as a little
cape but only after unhooking the
hidden brown
vest underneath. The vest can be fitted into a men's style vest (
Victorian) or a
bodice (
Renaissance). The skirt has 4 inches of extra fabric and can be pulled up to an empire waist for
Edwardian times or it can be cut off and used for patching holes. If I go so far back in time that there are few or no people, I can remove the whole thing and wear my
Laura Croft suit underneath.
I hope you will take this to
heart and collect your own
time travivalist gear -
don't be surprised to wake up one day in the middle of the
Spanish Inquisition.
Be prepared.