Let's pretend this is an in-depth yet concise summary of one human person's entire life thus far, and that we have drunk of its contents, pondered its sublime taste, and enjoyed it thoroughly.
Good. Now let's watch as said person strips of her pajama pants, jumps into a pile of plush animals, and begins to furiously air guitar to songs that do not possess furious guitar chords.
Onto the more relevant stuff: I tend to write shorter things (the more concise, the better), often not more than a few paragraphs in length. My favorite thing to do is to squeeze into the mind of a character, touch his knuckles with mine, share a cold drink, and essentially make camp. I specialize in men -- women are too much like myself. I also have a habit of picking up the narrative tone of authors I'm currently reading, usually Lovecraft or G.R.R. Martin.
I also have a ridiculous obsession with cute animals.