WARNING
unappealing content plus minor spoilers lie below


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here be dragons
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Good enough.

Let me start by saying that the experience of playing Conker's Bad Fur Day is really what I would hope it would be like if I ever were to try LSD. For a quick refresher, the game details the misadventures of a cartoonish red squirrel attempting to find his way home after really tying one on the night before. The most truly surreal moment of the game comes after you enter the Dung Beetles' mountain, and meet the, uh, dread monster of Poo Mountain.

So. Here I am, late at night, playing merrily along in the Dung Beetle zone, and I enter the mountain, and after hearing the woeful tale of the monster of Poo Mountain (is this strange enough already? yes, it is.), I am presented with anthropomorphic corn, which a voice from below demands I throw in the center of the room.

After feeding several of these to the beast that dwells below, it rises up before me, a fearsome looking sort of poo-demon. No problem. "Ah," think I, "the boss." I sit back and expect some inane button-pressingly mindless combat. At which point, the giant poo monster opens its feculent mouth and says:

"Mi mi mi mi...."

For LO! This is no ordinary giant poo monster. This is a giant SINGING poo monster. A giant - singing - poo. With a deep, authoritative, and beautiful operatic voice. Upon realizing that what you are seeing is not the result of a petit mal seizure, there can be but one thought running through your head:

What kind of drugs do you need to take to come up with this stuff?
and where can I buy them? (optional)

To see the lyrics that the Great Mighty Poo will serenade you with, node your way over to Chucky Poo's Lament.


"Ah, you cursed squirrel, look what you've done. I'm flushing, I'm flushing! What a world, what a world. Who would have thought a good little squirrel like you could destroy my beautiful clagginess!" - Chucky Poo