Honestly,
I don't know what to make of this. Someone submitted it to my
blog anonymously a few
months ago... its
very weird, but i think it deserves some
attention. Ive left it intact, with all
spelling and
grammatical errors.
>buttons pressed
>sound of wheels turning
>some static faint in the background
>flick flick of a lighter
>exhale
we started the project in the fifties. at first, the chairmen were hesitant to invest so much time and effort into
something that only a few people were going to have. eventually they realized that television was the way of the future
and that everybody was going to have one.
>pause
>exhale
so we started at looking at what was actually going on inside the television, and more specifically what was coming out
of it.
>coughing
>pause
>exhale
we didn't have anything worth testing until the sixties though, and it was only in 10% of the homes in the united
states, but our research indicated that it was working. then we heard about color television.
>tap tap
>pause
we jumped on that one.
>exhale
when color television sets hit the market everybody bought one. your black and white set wasn't good enough anymore,
you had to have a color set. if you weren't watching johnny carson in garish rainbow hues you might as well of been a
communist.
>chuckle
>pause
>tap tap
and if you were watching johnny carson in garish rainbow hues you were ours. like i said before, the technology was
still new. it worked but it didn't do much. all we could do for five years was look, watch, listen, record. it
was very voyeuristic in the early years. people were watching the screens in front of them, listening to the sounds
coming out of the little box, and people on the other side of the screen were watching the people in front of them,
listening to the sounds echoing inside their little skulls.
>pause
>exhale
>chuckle
it didn't take much work to get our technology inside the monitors of computers. that was a huge step for us at the
time, because the only computers around were operated by the government and major colleges and institutions. all of a
sudden we weren't spying on joe average from smallville north carolina- we were privy to the leaders of the free
world.
>flick flick
>puff
>exhale
that turned out to be a nice little bonus. although, as i said, we were just looking. we couldn't touch yet.
>pause
>tap tap
>exhale
we figured out how to do that in the eighties.
>pause
>exhale
we already knew how the process would work before we even had the ability to do it. we knew what had to happen, in what
order, for how long, we just needed the technology to do it. believe it or not, the original designs for that were
scribbled on the back of a placemat from a diner. they aren't that impressive, really. they're only three
equations and a diagram.
>puff
>tap tap
and they're next to a rather crude cartoon of our waitress. our supervisors weren't very pleased with our
presentation of that technology.
>pause
>exhale
CAN YOU TELL US HOW THAT PROCESS WORKS?
>pause
>tap tap
sure.
>exhale
the first thing you have to do is get a lock on the viewers consciousness. that takes time. it depends on the viewer
but usually 5 or 10 minutes is enough. you lull the consciousness into a kind of trance with ... well, i can't
tell you specifics for legal reasons, but i think you get the idea. the conscious level has to be be a lot lower than
it usually is, but not too low, or the viewer goes to sleep. there's a delicate balance.
>pause
>exhale
i assume you're familiar with the concepts behind hypnotism and suggestion. this is a lot like that, except your ...
participant isn't aware you're doing it, much less willing. but once you get them into that state you can pump them
with anything you want.
>pause
>puff
the real gem came at 4 in the morning in the late nineties. a bunch of us wondered if we couldn't put something out
and then fetch it again later. that late at night, or early in the morning, it's really easy to get a lock on their
consciousness. so we wrote something out during one of those infomercials. we waited a few hours and tried to get it back
around 8am, and we did. we could still get it at noon, and at 4am the next day, and for weeks afterward. months even. it was
buried in their subconscious, sort of like a repressed memory.
>pause
>flick flick
>exhale
believe me, that got us in a bunch of trouble. for years our team was on probabation. our security access was cut, we were
relocated, everything except given the pink slip. a few years later we got off probably, only to find they were using our
little distributed network trick without giving us credit.
>puff
>exhale
>pause
first day back on the job they pull us all into a conference room. there are no screens in conference rooms in our buildings,
of course. for some reason they use old fashion bugs. they pull us all into this conference room and they tell us what they
want. then they walk out. no questions, no specifics. we're almost ready to present what we have to them. i'm really proud of
it, it's amazing.
CAN YOU TELL US WHAT IT IS?
>scraping, chair across floor
you're familiar with the knowledge that humans don't use all of their brains, that we only use a small percentage of our
brains?
YES.
do you know how distributed processing works?
YES.
we can issue instructions to, and make queries of, our distributed networks now.
YOU MEAN LIKE "WHAT'S TWO PLUS TWO?"
>laughter
yes, like "what is two plus two?" but also like "where is john smith?" also like "how many people are standing on the corner
of Fifth and Washington in San Diego California?" it's not just about asking questions and getting answers, though. we can
make them do things.
>pause
WHAT KINDS OF THINGS?
call your mother this sunday. buy something from mcdonald's. walk out of the office right now. if you're male, think about
sex; if you're female, think about mr. right. the next time your boss gives you a project, tell him to "shove it." when the
presidential candidates visit a city near you, try to kill them. forget about what you saw in the sky the evening of the
twenty first of july, 1973.
>pause
CAN I BUM A SMOKE?
I wish i knew what to make of this. Its freaky. I have no clue who wrote it, but ive left it on my weblog.
its something to think about