I have parasites. I had planned on leading a life of leisure this week amongst the Island heathens, and instead I’m playing hostess to a horde of who-knows-what kind of small animals that I caught in Central America. What fun.

Worse than this, it will take two weeks for the medicines to completely eliminate them. I’m sure this is going to give me nightmares.

I started getting deeply embarrassed about this at the doctor’s office, until I realized that I was fascinating to them. Whatever I have, I picked it up in Honduras, and the staff at the local doctors office doesn’t get to see many exotic diseases. The Physician’s Assistant even said: “You’ve made my day!” What fun.

When I went to the pharmacy to get the prescription filled, I explained that I had gotten this in Honduras, not wanting them to think that I had given myself something with poor hygiene or something. The pharmacist was also intrigued by this – she said she loves exotic diseases and it was her favorite course in college. She asked me to call her when the test results come in and tell her exactly what sort of parasite it is. What fun.

So now I have two medicines. They both cause nausea and reduced appetite. One causes constipation and the other diarrhea, so I figure that will balance out. Two weeks. And oh yeah, no alcohol at all. It’s Spoleto Festival here – the party of the year. And if I drink alcohol I’ll get very sick. What fun!

Oh well – it was still a great vacation and I’d still like to go back. I’ll have to identify how I got these little critters though and avoid them next time.