She would just sneak up on you, like a ghost...a phantom. Then she was just there, like a part of you, there forever.
There would be times when I would get home and the last thing that I wanted to do was smile. Then the phone would ring. I would go over and check the caller ID to see who it was. What if its that girl that wants to sleep with me, that girl that I want nothing to do with because all she ever talks about is herself and how much she likes to do this and that (you know what I mean). If its her, I would think to myself, she can just sit there listening to the pretty ringing sound that is coming out of the phone. There is no way that I want to talk to her, until she has something good to say. I'm not saying that I hate her or anything, she just has a way of making your plans for you, and for that reason I never answered her calls. There was other people I needed to talk to, at least until I was able to relax. It was almost never her. Usually it would be my brother calling from his mistresses? house, wanting to see if there were any bills that he needed to pay on. Damn. I do appreciate him calling, to make sure that our bills were kept up, but there were other people that I would rather talk to. Usually those other people were actually just one person. This is where she comes in. She made me smile.
I only knew her for a while before she left for another place, but there was just something about her that made her different than most people that I have stumbled upon. You would see her walking down the street, and you just had to stop her to talk to her, even if only just for a minute. She loved to talk, at least that's how it seemed to me, she never actually admitted it though. Actually, if you can picture this, this little tidbit about stopping her to talk to her, reminds me of something that you would always see on T.V.. I remember when, in the Eighties, in those cheesy pop videos that everyone was always so crazy about, there would be a lady walking down the street, all dressed up in the new fashion. All of the guys would stop every thing that they were doing just to try to talk to her. She was sort of like that, except that not just the guys wanted to talk to her? everyone wanted to talk to her. She bought most of her clothes at the thrift store, so I guess that the fashion thing is a little different also. But that is the scene that pops up into my head when I think of her, amongst others of course. She always knew some one, to get back to the point. Every one of the words that came out of her mouth when she talked to you had a feeling of worth and sense, like she meant every thing. That it came from the heart, or something along those lines (sorry about the cliché). Even when she was angry, her words still had that feeling. That's probably one of the reasons that everybody loved her, the sense of ease that there was when you spoke with her. I would bring this point up to her and she would respond with "Don't say that, I'm just a person, just like everybody else. That's exactly what she would say. I loved that about her.
Her coffee was the best. I might sound just a little strange, but it's the truth. She used Maxwell House(or one of those major brands) just like everybody else and their mother. But, damn, her coffee was always the best. She would call you in the morning and ask you if you wanted to come over to have a cup with her. For some reason that always made me feel special, like I was some one important. Or, in the evening she would call and ask if you wanted to watch a movie and have a cup. Usually we would all end up getting stoned and half fall asleep by the time the movie was over, but that just makes the memory a little bit more interesting. O.K., I might be exaggerating just a bit on the way I make these things sound so frequent, but I only knew her in person for a short time. But really, I would show up at her back door for a cup of coffee with a side of conversation with no questions asked. Do I want to go hang out with people I have seen every day for the last who knows how many years, or, go and get to know just a little bit more about the most interesting person I have yet to meet? That's not a tough one.
I have come to realize that, there are people that you meet sometimes and all you want to do is care for them. Not particularly take care of them, but just care. Everybody should care for everybody, but this girl I just wanted to care for. Just listen to her talk, and go on walks. I felt comfort in knowing that everything was copasetic with her, that every thing was good. I don't think that she liked me caring for her. Everybody cared for her though, even her ex-boyfriends, and their mothers. That's got to say something.
Now, I feel kind of strange about the whole situation I had with her. It's very bizarre, the fact that we only hung out for a few months. Its not like she was some old friend, though it felt that way. To come so close to someone that quick, somewhat scary. I remember laying awake at night in her bed, just talking... nothing else. Talking about middle names, where we would want to move to given the chance, love that we have had and lost, just little things but they meant a lot. She said she liked it just where she was. Damn. That took a strange turn.