A
burgundy Cadillac with
New York plates passed me on my way
home. The plates read, “TUNA”. It seemed to mock my own diet which consists primarily of
Tuna and
Ramen. Eatting tuna is a small part of my
vain attempt to lower my
body fat to 5% so that I may resemble a
Banana Republic model. I realize this drive is fueled by
media’s portrayal of
masculinity, but
don’t blame me, I’m a
fashion victim and
helpless against the reality of my own
imperfections.
Note to Self: Do not use iron to toast Pop Tarts anymore.
Note to Self: Do not eat Pop Tarts anymore, they contain too much suger.