On its opening in 1999,
Bed (23,
Sukhumvit Soi 11,
Bangkok,
Thailand)
was lauded as "the hottest club in
Asia" -- with much more truth than most
claims of this type, mind you.
The Big Mango's notoriously fickle
hi-sos have long since moved on to whatever the flavor of
the month happens to be, but while the heat has decreased a little,
Bed remains by far and way the
coolest club I've ever been to.
(Except maybe
Tantra in
Tokyo, but that one I can't node about...!)
Bed Good
What gives Bed its name and elevates it beyond your
run-of-the-mill ultra-trendy
bar is the nightly
Bed Supperclub. Reservations are essential (be
sure to request a bed!), and you'll be told in no uncertain terms to show
up by 8:30 PM. This is, after all, a
supper club, not a restaurant --
there's a
set menu and only one seating, so if you miss it, that's just too bad.
(However, the
Thai concept of
punctuality being what it is, the actual
serving only starts at 9 PM.)
The first thing that strikes you on arrival to Bed is the external appearance:
it's a two-story building shaped like a squished oil drum, painted a striking
white, with a UFO-like ramp leading up to the entrance. On entry, you'll
notice that white is indeed the theme of the day, with everything in sight
colored a completely surreal pure white, down to (as you'll notice the first
time one of them bends over a little) the panties of the microskirted waitresses.
On both sides and both floors (the 2nd is just a balcony), extending for the entire length of the room, is a white bed, with
white pillows and white leather padding, and little white tables on which you'll
be eating your meal. Take off your shoes, lie back and relax, order a little
something to drink, and try wipe off that shit-eating grin and any trails of drool
off your face as you contemplate the fact that places like this actually exist
outside the movie set of A Clockwork Orange.
Enough description-- this is a place that has to be experienced in person.
Suffice it to say that the food is very good (contemporary, if not white),
service is friendly, the DJs funky, and the weekend banquet's special shows
interesting.
Bed Bad
Alas, a harsh return to
reality will be presented in the form of the bill,
which will run to 1000
baht per head for the
weekend 4-course meal plus drinks at around B200 a pop and, yes, even B100 for
the coffee/tea that you thought was complimentary. Fine, $30 may not be all
that much by
New York standards, but in Bangkok that's a month's salary
for your average Joe. Consequently, the disappearance of Bangkok's
elite has been
made up for by importing the only other people who can throw around money
like that -- namely
farang tourists, all too many of the middle-aged
Patpong variety who've dragged along their entirely unimpressed
rented girlfriends.
The second side of Bed, the bar/nightclub, also seems terribly boring after
the supperclub. The antiseptic whiteness is diluted with shades of gray,
there's no dance floor to speak of, and the musical selection isn't quite
what you'd expect from Asia's hottest club. Combine this with the fact
that most of the clientele has filtered in from dinner -- non-dinner guests
need to fork out a 500 baht cover charge, although that does get you 2
drinks -- and Bed isn't exactly rocking most nights. Q Bar, just around
the corner, tends to be a much better choice if it's drinks, music,
or interesting people you're after.
Another not-so-little negative has been introduced by Thai premier
Thaksin Shinawatra, who in his clean-up campaign has decided to introduce
semi-regular police raids complete with compulsory piss tests on nightclubs
like Bed. If any customers test positive (as happened at Bed), the club is
forced to close at midnight, and since the dinner ends around 11 PM, you have exactly
one (1) hour to get your groove on.
But at least there's some excitement left, since you can still head down to the
bar's basement and try to figure out which bathroom is for men and which is for
women. (Tip: one squiggle vaguely resembles an "F", while the other tries
to be an "M".)
Getting There
The
Skytrain's
Nana station has an exit right on Soi 11. Bed is near the
other end, but if you somehow manage to walk past, then it's just Nature's way of
telling you that you probably don't want to end up in a police urine test
right now anyway.
References
Personal experience
www.bedsupperclub.com