vague memories of last night:
...RalphyK as DJ, playing too many Robbie Williams songs. I become disgusted when he gives a shout out to all of us and plays ABBA ('Dancing Queen'). I attempt to smash his deck with my bare fists but am thrown out by TheAlchemist and iain.
...i reappear, disguised as a waiter. my beret gives me away, and it's all just been laughed off as a happy little fracas.
...FelonyMPulse rather suavely boogies with the Portuguese sister of the guy who had a burst appendix last month. My suspicions about his using a crutch to get an easy date grow steadily.
...WyldWynd and the guy from the IT department are snorting something in the next stall over. I am peeved i wasn't invited, and therefore urinate noisily. i note i have achieved clear urine.
...back at the bar, heyoka charges me three quid for a ginger ale. "hey! what happened to my tab?" i whinge. "Your plastic's no good here," she snarls.
...Dexy's Midnight Runners' 'come on, Eileen' begins. I grab my coat, glowering at RalphyK. Meanwhile, Dizzy's leg also seems to have miraculously healed, as he stomps on the cigarrete butt strewn floor, shouting "C'mon! Faster! c'mon!" I leave, and fondue smirks at me from behind the embrace of the office junior. Chilled Monkey is snogging her best friend in the hotel lobby.



oh.
hell.
no.
that wasn't a proper gathering of the army of the chilled monkeys at all.
that was my company christmas party. apparently, everybody there needed to shake my hand when i left.
what did i do?
why didn't i stay with the rest of you?
Next time, chain me to the monkey.