just one, just one overcoat, that's all

a padded overcoat, one size too large
with orange thread lining and pockets deep enough
to hold several bottles of alcohol (my muse,
my vice, at the time) some people think
it never gets cold on the gulf coast, but don't
underestimate the strength of dampness and wind chill

that coat helped to keep me warm and huddled
and shelled and introverted
and standoffish and thorny and supposedly
safe

but the boy on the other hand,
he was on the inside
he was part of the padding (or maybe he was the thread)
he was there to watch me open a new world for myself
across lifetimes, he helped me to discover
every path upon which I've ever walked, he helped me
to see a world where I could truly love a mansomeone

it was the right person
it was not the right time

(I know, I don't believe in time,
but I must believe in timing)

but Ash, I have to admit
I didn't take mine either, technically
neither his coat nor his heart
he gave them to me willingly, but of course,
he wanted them back