When one sits down to
analyze friendships and
relationships, they can be seen in
many different lights. Some things hold
true in all relationships. Many people
do not notice these facts because it is something that they wish to deal with. It is hard to
accept that people are simply looking out for themselves.
- People are conditional. Their thoughts for you and affection for you is conditional. As long as you act a certain way, they love you (or hate you). Those of you who think that's wrong, think of it in terms of someone doing something major. Is there anyone that you honestly love NO MATTER WHAT? That could beat you up for no reason, that could kill someone, that could act out in crazy ways? People around you are conditional. All friendships are conditional.
- Those conditions are how you act, what you do, and generally how you think. The friends you have are because they meet those conditions that you have. You are their friend because you meet their conditions. Do you ever stop to think about what the conditions that you have are?
- Although I don't see this as set in stone, I believe that it is true, everyone uses everyone. I'm not saying that everyone is innately evil, or anything along those lines, but everyone seeks what is good for themselves. It is human nature to look to satisfy your own needs. Friendships are grown from a need. A need to be around other people and a need to be social. There is a need to be loved and cared about. Everyone is in a relationship for some sort of personal gain. There is always some sort of self fulfillment in a friendship. When that leaves the conditional relationship is over.
The most common unconditional relationship is with a pet. No matter what you do to most animals they will love you and be happy to see you no matter what. The second relationship that some people believe to be unconditional is a relationship with God.
It is unfair to seek an unconditional friendship without giving an unconditional love. Loving unconditionally puts a person at risk to be hurt. Loving someone no matter what can potentially cause a harmful, damaging, and abusive relationship. I know that no one wants such a harmful relationship. The fear of giving unconditional love, as well as the rareness of it, makes a two-sided unconditional relationship rare.