This morning I watched
the moon fall silent from the sky, watched the world wake up, warm to the sun's presence. I don't like to
fall asleep anymore, I like to force my eyes to remain open because if I do, I don't have to worry about waking up completely
alone. I can't stand the penetrating nothingness of a day when
you aren't there, no one is, it's just me and I want someone to tell me that the trees aren't the only thing that can
comfort me.
I walked today, behind the house to the end of the
tree-shrowded path and I knelt in the grass.. and then I layed in the grass and I looked across the tips of each
blade, I stared into the
endless blue sky and I smiled. You're not alone unless you forget that there is life around you perpetually, the bug crawling across my
monitor and the dirt upon my feet. I walked
barefoot past the dogs as not to disturb them but it failed..at least I got to experience the grass beneath my feet, the way the ground feels almost
spongy. You can't feel that in a pair of shoes, you miss the substance, the unreal intense substance that seems to seep in through your feet and
subsequently to the rest of your body.
I could have layed there all day in the grass like that had it not been for the presence of other
human life. I'm quite sure it's nearly impossible for the
average person to comprehend why I would want to hide amongst the three foot tall grass and
stare into a day that will start the rest of my life.
T u r n a
r
o
u
n
d
a
n
d laugh at the faded fabric of a life woven from a
silhouette photograph paradox of the
class clown slapped with an
alternate reality through means of intense
i n t o x i c a SHUN.
I waited for the tide to turn I hurried up when you were too slow and I laughed when
the last tear fell from an eye that eye of an I could have stopped if I hadn't wanted to blind that eye,
your eye, with the searing
truth. If the world were to explode I'd fall and you'd watch because the last time you cared for anyone with a
nameless face doesn't
exist.
"
I don't want to understand this horror.." -
Our Lady Peace
This write-up brought to you by a lack-of-sleep induced haze.