sometimes there is such an intense negativity in the air, and i am easily crushed by such stuff. sometimes i fall.
you.. even if i could tell you exactly what you are to me, how i look at you and what you've done for me, i don't think i would, i think i'd rather show you. i try, do you have any idea.. such a sweet face, i love the way you hold me and the way that you look at me from across a room. the way you always smile back if i should happen to smile at you. the fact that you can handle me (you can, and i know,
i am not worried anymore, for once), i know you can.. even when i am feeling so cold and away, some place i shouldn't let myself into. i like that you don't let me wallow, or that i can't stay down when i think of it all coming together some day, and it will. instead of 'talking me down', you make me do it myself in a way that someone should have so long ago. i love the way that we mesh, or don't, respectively, and the way that it doesn't matter that bits of us probably never will
and the way that it makes me love you so much more.
waiting is horrible.. not being able to give you everything (the
little things), it hurts. i'm just so happy that you exist to be too sad about the waiting.. it also helps to step back and realize that months are not insane amounts of time, though still too long.
woe. :)
i think i'll be back noding a little more in the next bit.. i have some ideas floating around. i'm really tired of random people saying negative things about my writing though, especially making nodes about it. if you don't like my writing, don't read it.. it's really that easy, i swear. or you could just
send me money, pay me to stop writing, i'm all over that. actually, instead of not reading, just read it, and the more you hate it, the more money you send to get me to stop. damn that's a great idea. yeah. go with that. sorry.. sorry.
thank you to the mass amount of people who are so insanely nice to me.. even the random little msg's i get here really do a lot for my noggin'.
people i have been thinking about a lot lately, in no particular order, and with many missing:
you,
kate,
jesus, jared,
rob,
k,
matt (such amazing hong kong pictures..), you you you. you.
i know this daylog probably seems relatively long and probably boring to most.. but, whatever d00dz. :)