it's these conversations i have in my head with you. over and over as if saying any of them enough times will bring some sense into the matter.

hey - i love you i'm sorry let's try again. hey - i'm sorry it is like this and that i am too afraid to let myself try again. hey. i'm just sorry. i'm just very very sorry for so many things.

and the only thing that doesn't change is the hey. and how sorry i am about myself, about my changing and my not knowing where that leaves you. and i should tell you these things but you know me so well that i'm sure i don't even need to.

oh and if i ever caused you trouble..

i remember little things you've said to me and it feels like i will disappear trying to forget.