She is my earliest memory.
The girl in the golden light is how I fall asleep when my stomach is empty. When I am a child she is peace when I’m afraid, all alone in the dark.
I am new to this world, but someone watches who knows me already. I used to know her and don’t understand how I could forget. There were wars and victory, defeat and death, holidays, birth, homes and travels, love and hate.
That she loved me once, I will remember.
And I now remember.
I will find her again.
This is your life. The time you are given. Don't run. be with me
none of us is born alone
Where did I lose you?
Was it in the wind-borne mist,
Alive when we sailed to find our lives?
It seemed I looked away for a moment,
Admiring the sunrise you’d made,
And turned to find the space you’d left,
A strand of your hair,
Amid the folds of cloth of your pillow.
When did I not love you?
Had I ever such misfortune,
Or was it I didn’t know,
Like someone recent born,
Without the dreadful knowledge of that he lacks,
And so does not feel such loss?
How will I find you?
What have I of you,
Direction, the scent, a fuzzy memory,
When you were not the light on thinning fog,
Dissolving before the glare of lifetime spent?
And what if I’ve become,
Nothing but the search,
The sought?
To what purpose then my soul?
This love?
This time?
* * *
I have always been.
As you have walked the paths of men,
So I have trodden earth, step by step,
Beside you,
With you,
Without you.
We were constructed with stars,
Ignited hand in hand
And when the first glimmer lept from your heart
It was my first sight
Thus mine, yours.
I can neither forget you,
Nor leave you,
Nor stay,
But shall expend myself
To find you,
And in accomplishment thus,
Reclaim my soul.
* * *
Anna says, "Do you love me?" under Orion's glare.
I answer what I think, without thinking, "I'd love you if I'd never been born."
And so she says, and paints my life moment by moment,
"If you had never been born, I would have waited until you were."