The dispirited, the lonely, the hungry, the sexually eccentric, the lost. We all know people like this. Sometimes it's just so hard to get through to them the message that they're not alone in their suffering. But HallmarkTM has come up with the answer for this situation, in the new line of off-the-wall yet poignant May you always find naked women to throw tiny pickles at you cards (and related merchandise!).

Stumped for a tasteful way to say, "i simply cannot comprehend your desires, but i would defend to the death your right to have them"? Looking for the right card to break the ice with that attractive pickle-lovin' guy? Pretty sure your friend is illiterate but need a clever, underhanded way to find out? We've got the solution. Special sentiments for special people, in these oh-so-special times.

Hallmark.
Poor you, poor you, no one understands you.
We know. So, May you always find naked women to throw tiny pickles at you(c).