WAITING
jan.2001
review of the aislers set show at the cafe du nord, in san francisco, on dec 30 2000
waiting: like before the first kiss.
waiting pressed up against a velvet curtain hearing this boy talk about something but i couldnt hear half of it because i just hear hit the snow playing over and over inside my head. we're just waiting for the curtain to open and everybody is maybe drinking or maybe sober but that doesn't matter what counts is that we're all happy and that we're about to fall in love. all the small girls find a way to slip up front but thats okay because thats where they belong because they always dance the best anyways.
and then theyre standing right there maybe a few feet away right in front of you and it's like all the best basement shows you've ever been to or the time you all sat on the beach and listened to some kid play the most brilliant sounds on his guitar. and there he was right in front of you only a few meters of sand between you and the infinite. and from this side, it feels go good to just be breathing, just to be alive. (you say to yourself, yes sometimes it is worth it.) youre still waiting like before the first kiss. the first kiss, we all used to tell each other, is the best kiss.
the music: the one thing to save your life. and what happens from there isn't exactly something you can really say anything about. you just have to remember it. you have to feel it. and if you weren't there then you never will be. and that's how good music can feel inside of a person. what happened? did they play it? oh ya, it was all the best songs it was anything and everything. dancing: everyone's occupation. the band: at that place where music always strives to be. and you find yourself with your arm around some kid you don't know. and he's dancing his soles thin and you just want to stay there next to him and you don't know him but that doesn't matter. and everyone falls in love with everyone else and it's like we're out there in the crowd just being beautiful even if it's only for half an hour. and then your friend introduces you to somebody in between a song and you say oh well we already know each other, remember this?, and then he shakes your hand and his smile is really big and then the music starts and he's jumping up and down behind you pogoing and he almost knocks you over but already youre in love with him. and then a. says there is a party at amy's house and you cant even hear the words unless you already know there is a party at amy's house. and everybody is going anyways because what else are you going to do on new year's? (well i almost stayed home all night just to listen to aislers set records, but at the last possible moment i thought 'well maybe i should just go anyways'.) ya and mary goes up and sings on the song and we all think it's the best thing that ever happened. everybody is dancing. we're all pogoing or whatever it is we want to do. no there isnt any room to dance. you end one song ten feet from where you started the last. but we don't let anybody fall down. and nobody is mad that they can't move an inch but we all still move anyways.
everybody is going home with bruises but we arent sore about it. no way are we sore about it. these are love scars, kid, and we're going to make polaroids of the time we all got knocked around at the aislers set show and didn't even give a fuck. you couldn't stop moving if you wanted to because that music, that music that those kids are playing right in front of us, that music means everything right now. right now: is forever.
and they stop playing their songs and they drop their guitars and slowly wander away. we know they'll come back up this time. yoshi wont leave anyways he just plays around at the keyboards. just waiting. for us it's the perfect signal. this time we'll hear all the songs and the music goes like the turntable that knows how to turn it's records over. right now: is forever. this kiss, just like the first kiss, it's never going to end. you sit back ten years later or five years later and you think about that girl or that boy and how brilliant they could smile and that look they hide in their eyes. you think about a face. no, that kiss never ended, did it? right now: i'm still kissing her. right now: is forever. that aislers set show we were at: it's never going to end. it's still going on right now, inside of us all. and if you werent there you never will be. and if you were there youre never coming back. i know i'm not. this is where i always wanted to live. inside this show and this first kiss.