Lots of crazy dreams last night. I tried going back to taking two melatonin and woke up before midnight so I decided to pop two sleeping pills. That was a mistake since I couldn't wake up this morning and now feel very behind as I start the day. I'll be okay, nothing I have to do is time sensitive, I'm a little annoyed with myself, but also glad I tried the experiment. Jane had to ride her bike to school today, thankfully it's nice and sunny out. Tomorrow and Wednesday I'll have my mom's car. I made a list of things I need to get done. I'm trying to remain calm and remind myself that I can get whatever accomplished while I have her vehicle and it's not the end of the world if I can't cross everything off my list.
My therapist can't see me so that's one thing off of my list. Kind of a bummer because I really wanted to get in and see her as it's been a while. I need to do some car shopping, get my phone switched over, buy groceries, run any errands that require distances longer than I can cover on my bike, and I'm kind of excited, but also nervous about it. Part of the anxiety is coming from an invite to a Milwaukee Brewers game. A girlfriend of mine invited me and another woman named Jessica. It's a treat, but it's also a day game so I'm nervous about getting sunburnt while sitting outside for hours at a time. I realize I can always leave my seat and go stand in the shade, but that kind of defeats the purpose of going to a game. I'll also have to pay for my own parking which isn't a huge deal, just another expense I have to account for at a time when every cent counts.
I had an insight about myself this morning. Last night the guy I like asked me how I was recovering from the accident. Physically my injuries were minor. Something about the question triggered a rant. This morning I was still thinking about what I said and why I act the way that I do. I finally realized that I'm used to being married and need to back off since this is a new romance and shouldn't be confused with the old one. I was projecting a lot of stuff onto the new guy that should have stopped when I got divorced. That's not fair to him and I'm going to try and explain it in a way that hopefully doesn't drive him away. Lots to do today so I'm cutting this short. Yesterday Jill made a fabulous mango strawberry smoothie. Don't know exactly what she did, but experimenting to see if I can recreate it and write up the recipe for future generations here.